A long post about my thoughts on Lasik

I have been contemplating getting Lasik (which stands for "laser-assisted in situ keratomileusis") eye surgery for a while. For how long? Hmm, maybe just a couple years. Up until recently my attitude was "NO WAY would I ever let someone cut open my eyeballs! I can see just fine with glasses and contacts!" However, at my last eye exam, the technician commented that her prescription was almost identical to mine - WAS, until she got the Lasik and now she can see great! I didn't feel like she was trying to sell me anything, I felt like she was just being honest. My eye doc (who I have been seeing for about 10 years and who I adore) told me that he thought I would be a "good candidate" and asked if I wanted a referral to a Lasik clinic in the area. I said "sure", I'd check it out at least.

I debated even making the appointment for the "free consultation" but then decided to go ahead and have the consultation (since it was free) and find out more info. I would not even be able to find out the final cost until I received the eye exam, since everyone's eyes are a little different, and this clinic offers many different types of Lasik which all cost different amounts. The appointment lasted about 2 hours and involved an eye exam, a tour of the facilities, and detailed discussion about the procedure and possible complications. I felt fairly comfortable and not pressured at all. I left with a giant packet of information, including many legal forms I would have to sign (clearing the clinic and surgeons of any responsibility if my surgery was to turn out badly). They told me my surgery would be about $2000 PER EYE, for the "bladeless custom Lasik" option (my "best option").

The many legal forms and long list of possible negative complications caused me to feel very timid about even considering this. The cost of the surgery is actually not a big deterrent to me, as I have a little savings and the clinic offers excellent payment plans (interest free!). I thought about it for a couple weeks, and during that time did what any good 21st-century-first-world-citizen would do: I did my own research on the Internet! Which was a very bad idea. Well, a fairly bad idea anyway. Because of course the people who take their experiences to the Internet are mostly people with horror stories. Very Bad Experiences that they want the world to know about.

If you do a Google search for "Lasik stories" (or something worded like that) you will come up with page after page of complete horror stories about complications ranging from dry eyes to suicide (yes suicide), and just about everything in between. Double vision, chronic headaches, blindness, eye infections, seeing halos around lights, the need for repeated treatments, the need for reading glasses AND driving glasses AND computer glasses, simply not being able to see well in the end... it goes on and on.

The Internet scared me (a lot) but I did manage to come away with some useful realizations:

1. The advances in Lasik have come a long way just in the past few years. Most of the horrible stories I was reading were from the late 90s and early 00s. (Although I know a few people who had it done back then and had good results.) My surgery will be "bladeless" which means a laser is used to cut the cornea flap, which is supposed to result in less complications (such as seeing "halos" around lights - this was usually a result of mistakes during the "cutting of the flap" by hand, with an actual knife). Also my surgery will be completely customized to my specific eyes, which apparently was not always the case in the past.

2. Lasik has become a fashionable way for eye surgeons to make a lot of money quickly and easily. There are many surgeons out there who are dishonest and incompetent. There are also many surgeons out there who are very competent and very honest. Don't let just any old clown slice open your eyeballs. Do research, get referrals. Seems obvious, but I think many people are lured in by the promise of 20/20 vision and slick salesmen. And Groupons.

3. The cost of Lasik can vary widely from just a couple hundred dollars to several thousand dollars. If the price seems to good to be true it probably is. However, paying a lot of money doesn't necessarily mean you will get the best surgery. Also, it's probably not a good idea to go to a place that accepts "Groupons".

4. Everyone is different. Different eye health, different prescriptions, different thresholds for pain and discomfort. So of course reading other people's accounts on the Internet must be done with several grains of salt.

In addition to grain-of-salt-Internet-research, I tried to find actual flesh-and-blood people who had it done. My results were that MOST people who had some type of laser eye surgery are happy. SOME people are not, but the most common complaint is dry eyes. Also hormonal changes (pregnancy, menopause) can affect one's prescription and a couple people I know have had their eyes return to the state of needing glasses. The clinic I am going to offers "free touch-ups" (supposedly!) and when I asked about my eyes changing with menopause they told me I could "just come back in and get my eyes done again". Hmmm.

I have found the "satisfaction" rating of Lasik surgery listed as anywhere between 95% and 99%. Those odds don't seem too bad, but of course I have been focusing on the 1% of people who experience severe and disabling complications. However, after I managed to STOP looking at the Internet and started talking to the real people in my life, I decided to do it.

Last month I finally went ahead and made an appointment for the surgery. I am supposed to be out of my contacts for at least 2 weeks prior to the surgery, so I have been wearing my glasses exclusively. Boy it has been a pain in the ass to wear glasses all the time. Makes me want to get the surgery even more!

My surgery is scheduled for October 6th. I had to make an evening appointment so my hubby can take me. They only do evening appointments once per month, so if I miss this for some reason (such as migraine, which is one of my big concerns... more on that later...) I will have to wait another month. I also had to schedule 2 pre-op appointments: one with my regular eye doctor to have an exam with pupil-dilation (which is a pain-in-the-butt because I need to get a ride to and from that appointment and of COURSE they can only see me at the most annoying time when no one is available to drive me..), and another pre-op appointment with the Lasik clinic just to make sure nothing has changed with my eyes since I last saw them in August. AND I had to schedule 2 post-op appointments: one with my regular doc again to check on my "eye health" and a next-day appointment with the Lasik clinic (which they assure me I will be able to drive myself to.. WITH NO GLASSES! I don't believe them, but of course that's the whole point of all this, isn't it? To be able to see without glasses?)... And then several follow-up appointments with the clinic over the next several months to check my results. I do feel good that they are really checking my eyes a lot, but man it is turning into kind of a pain because I have to miss work for all this.

So I still have a lot of worries and concerns, and I still feel like I may chicken-out and cancel all my appointments. At the time of writing this I have a week and two days. I am writing all this because I need to organize my thoughts and really figure out if I will go through with it or not.

Things I need to remember about my current vision:

1. When I am wearing my glasses or contacts I STILL feel like I can't always see sharply (even though my eye doc assures me I have very close to 20/20 with my glasses).

2. My contact lenses can be really uncomfortable, but then again I like having peripheral vision (which I don't have with my glasses). The contacts dry out my eyes if I try to do something like knit or read music. And all the various cleaning solutions are expensive and a pain to lug around with me if I am traveling.

3. With my glasses and contacts I currently can't really see at night, and I already see "halos" around lights at night, so those possible side-effects of surgery aren't really that big a deal, since it wouldn't really be any different.

I don't know what my exact prescription is, but it is pretty bad. I can't see 6 inches away from my face, and I have bad astigmatism. I often find myself thinking that getting Lasik surgery is just a rich-person-cosmetic-kinda-thing (not that I am rich of course), but really it is a quality-of-life kinda thing. I mean, right now, I can't see! If I were to lose my glasses I would be screwed (until I could go get another pair of course). So if modern medicine can offer me a way to be able to see, why not take it?

So, anyway, here they are, my biggest concerns at this point:

1. The literature says that taking Imitrex before/during/after Lasik can cause complications, since the medication affects blood vessels and guess what the eyeball is filled with? Blood vessels! So it can cause a problem with the healing process. I do not currently take Imitrex but I take a similar medication. My consultant said it probably is not that big of a deal, they just like to "err on the side of caution". But if I get a migraine around the time of surgery (likely!) I will have to make that decision. If I don't take the medication I will be in bed throwing up for 2 days and how will that feel with my freshly-sliced eyeballs?

2. One warning they gave me is that since I am in my 40s I will likely need reading glasses. I do not currently need them. But I keep reading on the Internet that after Lasik people often develop far-sightedness, that is they can see distances really well after the surgery but suddenly need glasses to read and look at computer screen etc. I don't know if that is a good trade-off or not. I'm concerned about my ability to do all the things I love to do: knit, read, play music (which involves reading sheet music).

3. Dry eyes. I am fully expecting that I will experience dry eyes, because they say that is almost definite. Some people experience dry eyes to the extreme for many months after the surgery. Some people recover from the dry eyes in just a couple weeks. I guess with contact lenses I already have to carry eye drops around with me, so that wouldn't really be any different. It just seems like it might be annoying, the need to be constantly putting drops in my eyes.

4. I am also a little bit worried that I will spend so much money on this, and then something will go wrong in another area of my life, such as the roof of our house will need to be replaced or one of us will lose our jobs or some other Unexpected Big Money Event will happen. OR I will spend all this money and then it won't work and I will have wasted thousands of dollars and time and stress. (Which reminds me of my fertility treatments years ago! Throwing thousands of dollars down the drain for failed medical procedures!) (Okay, it's a little different.) (But still.)

5. Lasik is permanent. Not reversible. That is a little scary. I only have one set of eyes and I really do love being able to see (as well as I already can with my glasses/contacts). This is an elective surgery so how stupid to throw away my only eyes just because glasses are an "inconvenience".

but... what if everything goes really well and in the end I can see even better than I can now with my glasses/contacts? Wouldn't that be wonderful and miraculous? I do feel like I am taking a big gamble. But the thought of good vision is so exciting!

If I do go through with it I will definitely write about my experience, especially if the outcome is GOOD, so that if someone like me is doing internet research maybe they might come across MY blog and read a GOOD Lasik story for a change. (Because my story WILL be good! It will!) And if it turns out bad I guess I will add my voice to the horrors already on the Internet. Assuming I can still see my computer screen of course.